raisedbymoogles (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
raisedbymoogles) wrote2025-06-29 11:02 pm
raisedbymoogles) wrote2025-06-29 11:02 pm
who wants some 2012!Avengers nostalgia bait
this is pure mindless self-indulgence. inspired by refinding this tumblr post. mostly the tags really.
*
You hardly saw them, was the thing - Tony figured that was normal, given they'd been living in a sewer for the better part of two decades. He mostly just trusted JARVIS to tell him if any of them were in medical distress and let them do their own thing. They knew not to startle Bruce or Natasha, and it wasn't like even their unquenchable hunger for pizza was going to put a dent in the Stark Tower food budget. (Unquenchable is for thirst, not hunger, genius. Un... fill... able? Whatever.) It was all pretty self-sustaining.
But the problem with that was that new guys occasionally joined the team, and you had to remember to tell them about the giant turtle guys and their dad the giant rat guy, and Tony wasn't the best at remembering to tell people things. (Just ask Pepper.)
Sam seemed all right. Took the ribbing about Steve copying Tony by acquiring a Black Best Friend From The Military with good humor. Impressed Thor with his planking skills, bonded with Clint and Bruce by ribbing Tony back about - well, take your pick, Tony had a long list of personality flaws. He liked to think he took it with grace too.
Anyway, Sam showed up at the Tower when he was in town, here and there, and one night his flight to Dulles got canceled and he let himself get talked into staying overnight, and right in the middle of a group D&D session Sam got up to refresh the snack bowl and a shadowy figure dropped into sight next to him.
"Hey, pass me the strawberry Pop-Tarts?" he said, and Sam just about hit the ceiling.
He also hit the ninja turtle in the face, with the box of Pop-Tarts, which the giant turtle who walked like a man took as the grevious sin it was. "Dude!" he protested, catching the box in both hands, "don't break them! You don't get the Optimal Pop-Tart Experience that way!"
"What," wheezed Sam from the counter.
Steve, already in motion as soon as the interloper popped up, tapped said interloper on the shoulder. "Sorry, Mikey, that's on us for not clueing him in," he said, mostly to smooth things over, and Mikey was happy to instantly forget about it and start opening the box, while Sam was still coming down from that near heart attack. "Sam, this is Michelangelo, he and his family live here sometimes. Mikey, Sam Wilson, he saved my ass in D.C."
"Hey," Mikey greeted casually.
"Uh." Sam glanced at Steve, wide-eyed, then appeared to rally. What the hell, that look said, I already hang out with Norse gods, assassins, and a guy who turns into a green rage monster. Tony knew the feeling. "Hey. Sorry about the. Pop-Tart thing."
Mikey fished one of the packets out, pleased. "Bygones, dude. They appear to be intact."
"Great. Glad to hear it."
Mikey wandered off, and Sam was halfway to doing the same before remembering he'd been in the kitchenette for a reason and going back for the snacks he'd wanted in the first place. Tony sat back, returning Steve's sheepish look with a wry little half-smile. I know, this is on me too.
"Maybe I should get little info cards printed," he muttered as Sam came back with the snack bowl. "Welcome to Stark Tower, here's the wifi password, here's a list of places that'll deliver here, by the way there's ninja turtles in the vents."
"We don't usually go in the vents," said a voice behind the sofa, and now it was Tony having to stave off a fucking heart attack because how long had HE been there. And Steve was openly laughing at him, the bastard. "Bit too small for us. And it upsets JARVIS."
"I appreciate your discretion in the matter, Leonardo," JARVIS piped up. Or down, given the speaker was in the ceiling.
Leonardo popped up himself, folding his arms on the back of the sofa, and when Sam (bravely) offered him the snack bowl he politely accepted a handful of chocolate. "Uh, good to know, I guess," Tony said. "You wanna roll up a character? We need more magic users."
"We do not," Natasha muttered.
"I'll pass," Leo said. "I've done enough tabletop games to last me a lifetime. Ask Donny to DM a game for you sometime, though, he likes that kind of thing."
"Thanks for the tip, unless it turns out Donny's an evil bastard of a DM," Tony said, and Leo grinned and said no more on the matter.
*
You hardly saw them, was the thing - Tony figured that was normal, given they'd been living in a sewer for the better part of two decades. He mostly just trusted JARVIS to tell him if any of them were in medical distress and let them do their own thing. They knew not to startle Bruce or Natasha, and it wasn't like even their unquenchable hunger for pizza was going to put a dent in the Stark Tower food budget. (Unquenchable is for thirst, not hunger, genius. Un... fill... able? Whatever.) It was all pretty self-sustaining.
But the problem with that was that new guys occasionally joined the team, and you had to remember to tell them about the giant turtle guys and their dad the giant rat guy, and Tony wasn't the best at remembering to tell people things. (Just ask Pepper.)
Sam seemed all right. Took the ribbing about Steve copying Tony by acquiring a Black Best Friend From The Military with good humor. Impressed Thor with his planking skills, bonded with Clint and Bruce by ribbing Tony back about - well, take your pick, Tony had a long list of personality flaws. He liked to think he took it with grace too.
Anyway, Sam showed up at the Tower when he was in town, here and there, and one night his flight to Dulles got canceled and he let himself get talked into staying overnight, and right in the middle of a group D&D session Sam got up to refresh the snack bowl and a shadowy figure dropped into sight next to him.
"Hey, pass me the strawberry Pop-Tarts?" he said, and Sam just about hit the ceiling.
He also hit the ninja turtle in the face, with the box of Pop-Tarts, which the giant turtle who walked like a man took as the grevious sin it was. "Dude!" he protested, catching the box in both hands, "don't break them! You don't get the Optimal Pop-Tart Experience that way!"
"What," wheezed Sam from the counter.
Steve, already in motion as soon as the interloper popped up, tapped said interloper on the shoulder. "Sorry, Mikey, that's on us for not clueing him in," he said, mostly to smooth things over, and Mikey was happy to instantly forget about it and start opening the box, while Sam was still coming down from that near heart attack. "Sam, this is Michelangelo, he and his family live here sometimes. Mikey, Sam Wilson, he saved my ass in D.C."
"Hey," Mikey greeted casually.
"Uh." Sam glanced at Steve, wide-eyed, then appeared to rally. What the hell, that look said, I already hang out with Norse gods, assassins, and a guy who turns into a green rage monster. Tony knew the feeling. "Hey. Sorry about the. Pop-Tart thing."
Mikey fished one of the packets out, pleased. "Bygones, dude. They appear to be intact."
"Great. Glad to hear it."
Mikey wandered off, and Sam was halfway to doing the same before remembering he'd been in the kitchenette for a reason and going back for the snacks he'd wanted in the first place. Tony sat back, returning Steve's sheepish look with a wry little half-smile. I know, this is on me too.
"Maybe I should get little info cards printed," he muttered as Sam came back with the snack bowl. "Welcome to Stark Tower, here's the wifi password, here's a list of places that'll deliver here, by the way there's ninja turtles in the vents."
"We don't usually go in the vents," said a voice behind the sofa, and now it was Tony having to stave off a fucking heart attack because how long had HE been there. And Steve was openly laughing at him, the bastard. "Bit too small for us. And it upsets JARVIS."
"I appreciate your discretion in the matter, Leonardo," JARVIS piped up. Or down, given the speaker was in the ceiling.
Leonardo popped up himself, folding his arms on the back of the sofa, and when Sam (bravely) offered him the snack bowl he politely accepted a handful of chocolate. "Uh, good to know, I guess," Tony said. "You wanna roll up a character? We need more magic users."
"We do not," Natasha muttered.
"I'll pass," Leo said. "I've done enough tabletop games to last me a lifetime. Ask Donny to DM a game for you sometime, though, he likes that kind of thing."
"Thanks for the tip, unless it turns out Donny's an evil bastard of a DM," Tony said, and Leo grinned and said no more on the matter.
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six months later, a Hydra assassin stumbles back into their base with a thousand-yard stare covered in the remains of a pepperoni with extra cheese, and his compatriots do NOT believe a word of the story he has to tell. >D
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