i don't know if I want to say 'confuse me' or not.

[raisedbymoogles]

Stolen from senmut.

Post the first line of a story here, and I'll write the next five. No context or prompts, just a line, and if I don't twig who it is then you'll get something slightly surreal back!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

It probably wasn't the greatest idea in the world to go rummaging through the fridge when you were already sick, but it was that or give up and spend the rest of the day hungry and feverish on the sofa.

[raisedbymoogles]

The problem, of course, was that Sephiroth rarely kept much in his fridge. He didn't cook much, and when he ate out he generally didn't have leftovers to take home. A few bottled condiments, a couple of apples, half a block of cheese - Sephiroth would never go back to the days of ration bars and protein mush, but right now not having to think about what his next meal was going to be would be a godsend.

Sephiroth closed the fridge and was immediately confronted with Blue Dolphin's menu, affixed with a cheerful flower-shaped magnet. On it in purple Sharpie, Tifa had written, Call if you need anything.

[(Anonymous)]

Tifaaaaaaa <3 Tifa is BEST Tifa.

[(Anonymous)]

"I don't know, I don't want to know, and for your sake, don't tell me."

[(Anonymous)]

"I don't loan books out to just anyone y'know," Tauri said, with an air of great solemnity that was completely undercut by how he was waggling the book in the air.

[raisedbymoogles]

Aeris knew damn well she couldn't jump high enough to get the book out of Tauri's hand, but she jumped for it anyway. "But I'm not just anyone," she protested as Tauri held her off amid gleeful cackles. "I'm your friendly - neighborhood - florist!"

"You're a shortass is what you are," Tauri teased, then, "Oh, man, not the murder face! Put the eyes away, you're the best neighborhood florist and also the perfect height and I am a freakish stringbean."

Aeris let her Murder Face melt away into a grin as Tauri forked over the book; she smoothed a hand over the cover, heart just a little bit in her throat, leaving her just enough room to answer, "You're the perfect height for a stringbean."

[(Anonymous)]

...Tauri, don't be mean. XD *huuuugs!* (Also omg Aeriiiiiiiis and I love the friendly neighbourhood florist bit! ...you wouldn't like her when she's not friendly. ;D)

[(Anonymous)]

"It's a rainy day. That means COOKIES!"

[(Anonymous)]

It was far too hot to do anything other than lie flat on your back on the floor and steam, and that's exactly what they were doing.

[(Anonymous)]

"Give that back right now before you make the tiny cry."

[(Anonymous)]

"Uh, excuse you; I'm not a Sephiroth impersonator, I'm THE Sephiroth impersonator, and that's MISTER Sephiroth impersonator to you!"

(i have NO idea what's happening here tbh)

[raisedbymoogles]

It was so odd watching that voice and mannerisms come out of Sephiroth's doppelganger that Zack had to briefly blink away a sense of vertigo. Admittedly it wasn't a perfect likeness - Mister Sephiroth Impersonator was a skinny little twig compared to the genuine article and the eyes were clearly contacts - but Zack's hopefully-crazy-enough-to-work plan wasn't going to require Not-Sephiroth to pass any close inspection. "Right," he said, clasping his hands, "Mister Sephiroth Impersonator. How much to borrow you for, and I'm ballparking here, six hours two days from now?"

Centauri named his price, and Zack mentally doubled it - if things went sideways, that would count as hazard pay.

Re: (i have NO idea what's happening here tbh)

[(Anonymous)]

*SCREAMING WITH JOY*

Re: (i have NO idea what's happening here tbh)

[raisedbymoogles]

XDDDD <333333

[senmut]

Gentle whispers of a breeze helped cool them physically, but the anger still raged.

[raisedbymoogles]

Aerith hung her little self over the railing until she saw stars, until the blood thumping in her ears drowned out the sourceless whispers. Inside, her mom was calling for her, probably worried by how Aerith had charged past her in tears. She didn't answer, knowing it would hurt and worry the kind woman who had taken her in, wanting it to hurt, for no better reason than she felt like a raw open wound and wanted someone else to feel the same way.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't she be normal?

[senmut]

+applause!+

[raisedbymoogles]

^_^

[(Anonymous)]

WIBBLLLLLLLLLE omg BABY

[raisedbymoogles]

they keep it pretty vague but now and then there are hints that Aeris did not have a good time growing up

...i mean, aside from the obvious >_>

[(Anonymous)]

.....well yes this is true DDDDD:

[scribe_protra]

The problem with having a posse of bullies targeting you and making it so you couldn’t pass your classes was that Xuanzang currently physically *could not pass* his Companion class.

[raisedbymoogles]

....sorry, my google-fu is failing, can you tell me what fandom this is?

[scribe_protra]

Journey to the West, one of the man ways to spell one of Tang Monk's names. (The naming conventions are complicated.)

[redthedragon]

"I don't know who you are, and I don't care. I just want you to get out of my trash cans."

[raisedbymoogles]

"...that's fair," Peter muttered, face-down in unspeakable kitchen detritus. Parker luck, right on schedule.

But the thing about Parker luck was that as reliably bad as it was, now and then it threw him a bone right when he needed one. Elmyra was surveying him with the air of an annoyed middle school teacher, but as Peter brushed himself down another groan caught her attention, and she watched with mild amazement as the guy in the nice suit dragged himself up from the bushes where he'd landed after Peter knocked him off the roof.

"On second thought," Elmyra said faintly, watching the Turk grumpily limp away, "would you like to come in for coffee?"


(springboards off from this ficbit)

[(Anonymous)]

"I QUIT!"

[raisedbymoogles]

The Decepticons were all competing in the Gaping Olympics, but Megatron was well on his way to taking the gold. Starscream went hot/cold/euphoric all over, seeing that, I really did this twisting with why didn't I do this long ago? in his turbulent spark.

"That's right," he said breathlessly, just to make extra sure he couldn't change his mind later, "I quit. Slag this, slag all of you, slag the Cause, we left the Cause behind about six astroseconds in and you all know it, and Megatron, slag you in particular. I'm going to go see if Skyfire will still take me back, but even if he doesn't, you can all get WRECKED!"

[(Anonymous)]

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD I LOVE IT YOU ARE BEST

[raisedbymoogles]

I TRYYYYYYYYY~

[(Anonymous)]

"Madam President, I really must protest!"

[(Anonymous)]

"I am not my father. My wish, my one real wish, is to live in a city of flowers."

[(Anonymous)]

"What do you MEAN you hatched?!"

[(Anonymous)]

"Big talk for someone with lopsided cleavage, sugarplum."

[(Anonymous)]

The room was in chaos, everyone at the table shouting at and over each other.

Fortunately, he'd pocketed an air horn for just such an emergency.

[raisedbymoogles]

President Shinra and his goon squad didn't even look up as Not-Sephiroth rummaged in his pocket and drew it forth. Only Reeve caught the flicker of motion; Tauri made eye contact with him, one eyebrow quirked in not-quite-challenge, and Reeve responded with a shrug before plugging his ears.

Smart AND cute, Tauri wanted to say, but he wasn't about to blow his client's cover quite yet. He braced himself - hadn't thought to bring earplugs for himself, an error the real Sephiroth probably wouldn't have made - and depressed the button.

And kept pressing it, until the godsawful shriek-honk drowned out even the likes of Scarlet, until all of the executives were covering their ears and goggling at him like their star General had lost his goddamn mind,; only then did he grant them mercy (and his own ears some relief), and say over the ringing in everyone's head, "Now that I have everyone's attention, may I suggest a brief recess until we're all ready to stop acting like children?"

(A faint chortle proved that Reeve, at least, had caught the joke.)

[(Anonymous)]

-WOOOOO GO TAURI \o/

[(Anonymous)]

"I'm only going to tell you once. PUT. ME. DOWN."

[(Anonymous)]

"General-san, all I ask of any client is that you tell me the truth and believe in me. Because what I promise every client, is that I will believe in you. To the bitter end."

Why yes I stole this from the last meme you did.

[(Anonymous)]

"Hey, does it count as a harem anime if the guy is a giant robot, yo?"