I got bunnied. XD

[raisedbymoogles]

This was inspired by (lj)l_shades's most recent Communique installment, found here.

****

"Okay, we got a tea set from Cousin Arnie..."

"We'll have to start drinking tea."

"Gift cards from your dad..."

"Check."

"And a vacuum cleaner from..."

Spike glanced up from his notebook at his wife (and his heart was never going to stop doing backflips at that thought, was it?). "Who, Carly?"

Carly winced. "Wheeljack."

Spike groaned. "Well, we'll send him a thank-you note anyway. You think we should've forgotten to mention the whole 'wedding presents' custom to the Autobots?"

Carly chuckled and nudged the Wheeljackian Monstrosity of a vacuum cleaner to one side. "Nah. Most of them did pretty good. Look at this." She lifted up a fist-sized lump of shimmering crystal that split the morning sunlight into hundreds of rainbows. "Looks like something from Prowl's crystal garden."

"Wow." Momentarily fascinated, Spike almost forgot to write it down in his notebook. "Okay, so, Prowl - shiny crystal-"

"It's not from Prowl."

The too-steady way Carly spoke made Spike pause warily. He looked up to see Carly place the crystal gently on the table and back away like it would bite her. She handed over a folded slip of white paper without a word; Spike braced himself before looking down.

Embossed on the front in silver was a stylized Decepticon symbol.

"Oh, slag," Spike murmured.

"Uh huh."

"How did they get it past Red Alert?"

"I have no idea."

Spike tugged her down on the couch with him; they leaned together as Spike opened the paper. The words inside were typed in a bold, streamlined font that was no doubt aesthetically pleasing in Decepticon culture; Spike pictured the Seekers playing with fonts and supressed a hysterical giggle.

Humans, the note read. This is a crystal seeded from the remains of the crystals of the Grand Garden in Vos. The lack of color is a rare and prized effect, caused by the purity in its molecular structure. I give it to you in acknowledgement of your union. May it be blessed with many years of service to the rising Decepticon Empire!

Regards, Megatron and the Decepticons

P.S. If you wish to grow it, ask the Autobot Prowl.

Spike and Carly sat in silence for a long moment, holding each other while the shock of Megatron's gift ebbed. "Well," Spike sighed, "add his name to the list of thank-you notes."

"Do you think it's a trick?" Carly murmured.

"I don't think so." Spike glanced again at the note, then slipped it in his pocket. "All the same..."

"Yes?"

"Let's not put it in the bedroom."

Comments

[senmut]

I adore this. So very much. And yeah, not putting it in the bedroom is a good idea.

[raisedbymoogles]

Just in case, yeah. I don't think Megatron would appreciate that kind of intelligence any more than the newlyweds. XD

[ilyena_sylph]

*gleeeeeeeee* This is fabulous!

[raisedbymoogles]

Thank you! :D

[darkdanc3r]

bwahahahahaha

Oh, oh man, a vacuum from Wheeljack and a crystal from Megatron. Megatron!!! *giggles*

I'm not sure Megs really understands the point of a wedding gift, but at least he tried?

[raisedbymoogles]

Hey, he knows humans like shiny objects. I think he did a pretty good job. ;)

[katarik]

Heeeee! This amuses me *intensely*.

Also, I bet the thank-you note they ended up writing was *hysterical*.

[raisedbymoogles]

Dear Megatron,

Thank you for your thoughtful gift. Shove your Decepticon Empire up your exhaust.

Respectfully,
Spike and Carly

P.S. Prowl says to tell you he's impressed by your crystal gardening skill.

[katarik]

Starscream wants to know, shriekingly, WHOSE skill? HIS city!

[raisedbymoogles]

Megatron scoffs that Starscream spends too much time admiring himself in every reflective surface he encounters to have any left over for crystal gardening.

[katarik]

Starscream is, of course, terribly sorry that Megatron doesn't have anything worth admiring.

[raisedbymoogles]

Megatron would like to direct Starscream's attention to the Big Shiny Cannon on his arm.

[katarik]

(... That is perhaps the best possible answer, and upon showing it to Household cackles rang through the house.)

Starscream appears to be reduced to Glaring. And muttering vile, vile insults.

[raisedbymoogles]

(Cannon < everything.)

And Megatron just Smirks.

[katarik]

(trufax, much to Starscream's dismay and displeasure.)

Seethe, says a Starscream, Seethe.

[caiusmajor]

...that's amazing. "Many years of service to the rising Decepticon Empire!" indeed. Standard congratulatory remark? :D

[raisedbymoogles]

Well, either that or Megatron being Megatron. ;)

[eerian_sadow]

oh, this was priceless. utterly priceless. i could only wish my ex and i had gotten something so cool for our wedding.

Red, of course, needs to sweep it for listening devices. ;)

[tainry]

DWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Delightful. :D

[raisedbymoogles]

^_^